I hate the six o’clock news, I really do.

Dear fearmongering asshats at whatever hack local news program my father is currently watching: thank you for making a global internet security fuck-up [SSL heartbleed] seem like a deliberate something out to screw with my father’s tax return. [Nihilism, meet narcissism…]

I think he expects me to deal with it or fix it or something. Which is weird because my brother’s the software developer, but for some reason I’m the one who always gets these particular freak-out phone calls.

Shakespeare was wrong: first we kill all the journalists, then we can deal with the lawyers.