Morning meditation/fidgeting

Using the term “morning” loosely…

Crowley wrote somewhere something to the effect of it’s better to sit and fidget for 60 minutes than to mediate perfectly for 59 and quit a minute early. I’ve set the more modest initial goal of 13 minutes, but it’s still fidget central.

Nonetheless I sat down to stick it out, determined to get back in the habit of meditation and eventually get serious about working through Part 1 of Book 4, even if it takes me a hundred years.

It would perhaps be wiser to start with mantra meditations as having something to do and say might make slightly less likely to listen to the sounds of the busy street and construction across the same, but then again, I’m always doing something and it’s better to at least try to sit still and do nothing for a few minutes each day.

No dice today. I did sit out the 13 minutes, fighting the urge to look at the meditation timer on my phone, but between listening to the outside noises, bathing in the odd endorphin high I felt, noticing the tightness in my shoulders and trying to shrug it out (or trying to resist that urge), thinking about the new song I wrote last night that I’ll be programming tonight that will become my submission for COMA Music Magazine’s GCS3 compilation and also having another song I had been going to send into that compilation instead suddenly stick itself into my head, noticing that my foot had fallen asleep, thinking about which goals I would work on for the next 6 week challenge on the NerdFitness message boards, trying to decide what route to go on for my urban hike today, thinking I need to pop by the ATM on the way into the synth cave, thinking about my latest knitting project and how close I am to finishing it, and more resisting the urge to check how much time was left (and giving in to find I had a mere 13 seconds left on the clock), it was a rather full 13 minutes.

Oh well, I did stick it out, even if I wasn’t even at the “thinking about meditating, not actually meditating” stage. It’s a start. And at least the contemplation of my GCS3 track is a form of productivity, even if it’s one that I was trying to not do at that particular moment.